I got a new laptop (the lappy) and it's ok except sometimes there are delays when my keystrokes show up and it makes me wonder how Microsoft is monitoring everything I type. Plus the mousepad is oversensitive and keeps repositioning my cursor when I type.

I have major trust issues with Adam. I know there is a lot he's not telling me. Things don't add up. Why is there a whole jar of olive oil missing when he said he used it in his food, yet he never uses any of it. It's all based around this girl named Summer Brewster. She's only 21, so I'm thinking she's loud and dizzy. Her profiles all have obnoxious amounts of surveys. He admitted he has feelings for her, but that's about as honest as he gets. He keeps lots of secrets about her. She calls him and leaves him messages on his phone.

We had a bad fight a few days ago and he said "everyone I talk to says I should dump you" and this made me really mad because he does talk about me a ridiculous amount to other people, and never tells me about other people. I feel like a caged animal kept in the dark sometimes. He thinks he's avoiding fights by not talking to me, but it's only making it ten times worse. Seriously, I know things happened, and he's lying to me, and it makes me sick inside; I just have to t here and act like it's not eating away at my everything.

I'm doing pretty good losing weight, which makes me feel good (doesn't it always) to know because if I had to leave (due to getting replaced, or because I simply can't take it anymore) I would die not too far off because I'd have no money for food.

I got out of rehab on the 28th, so that's cool. I do feel like a better person. The recovery thing has been working for me. It was funny, when I was in the smoke area in the airport in Atlanta, where I had my transfer, there were people talking about rehab, and sleeping in airports and how security is really anal about that (understandable, I guess). Then I was calling Adam in one of the seats at a gate, and a security person kicked my chair, apparently because I looked like I was sleeping, is my guess, because he looked back at me to see if I looked up. I had my bags next to me and everything, I didn't look dumpy, either. So try it if you are traveling this holiday season! Well worth it. Hah!